In Sydney for work yesterday; a missed call from Mum in the afternoon. I went to call her back from the taxi as I was leaving but the phone rang before I could dial – it was Ian. Dad had gone downhill suddenly; fluid on the lungs, not getting enough oxygen, heart starting to fail. Mum had made the hard decision to ask for palliative care with no intervention and Ian was on his way to the hospital. At the airport I managed to get a flight 15 minutes earlier, but not early enough. By the time I got back to Tullamarine, home to pick up the car and drove down to Frankston it was after 8:30pm. He hadn’t regained consciousness since earlier in the afternoon and clearly wasn’t going to again. Mum had gone home for some much-needed rest. He’d been squeezing Ian’s hand and rubbing his thumb for a few hours afterwards but that had stopped too. His breathing was laboured despite the oxygen being delivered through tubes. Ian decided to stay with me at his bedside through the night. Jean-Marc and Sam came down for a few hours; the nursing staff were great in allowing us all to be there after visiting hours. Hospitals are an eerie place after midnight; quiet but never silent.
At 2:00am I pulled three chairs together and put my head down to close my eyes for a bit, but didn’t sleep. Ian was on the other side of the bed – he had his laptop out and was doing some work. The nurses had turned Dad on his side – he was facing me with his back to Ian. Ten minutes later I heard Dad’s laboured breathing slowing down and then heard Ian put his laptop down on the trolley. I sat up and knew straight away from the colour of his face that he was going. I wondered briefly if we should call Mum but knew immediately it was too late; she wouldn’t get there. I looked at my brother and said ‘He’s going, Ian’. He came round and put his arm round my shoulder, leant in and kissed Dad and said goodbye. I did the same, belatedly saying thank you. I knew he couldn’t hear me, but I said it anyway.
‘It’s alright to rest now Dad, you’ve done everything you needed to do, been more than everything you needed to be for all of us. Thank you for everything you’ve given us. We’ll miss you. I promise we’ll take care of Mum.’
He took two more breaths, then he was gone.
